Project Spirit Journal: Joy

The secret to life is finding your joy and making it grow . . .

Joy is everywhere, but most of all right inside of you.

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What is your joy today?

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c.b. 2012

Feeling the Love

My good friend at  Random Acts of Writing [+ art] was kind enough to nominate me for the Reader Appreciation Award.  Her blog is a delight and I highly recommend stopping by to see her lovely photos, artwork, and writing.

Thank you for such a beautiful award!

In order to accept this award I need to do the following:

1. List something you’ve been up to lately.
2. Nominate 6 other blogs

That seems simple enough!

My plate is always pretty full, so listing something I’ve been up to lately is a little tricky!  I’ll narrow it down to three items:

• Every day is about finding a way to work on my 2012 Goals.  I haven’t taken a day off since January 1st and I don’t intend on doing so until each goal is met.
• The school year is almost over with only a week remaining.  I’m busy preparing my students for final exams and cleaning my classroom.
• I’m reading like a lunatic lately. My poor Kindle is probably wondering when its going to get a break, while my bookshelves are wondering why three or four books at a time are missing.

Six blog who deserve this award:

Settle and Chase – A beautiful blog of photography and art.  I am always moved by the images captured and created by this amazing artist.

75 Kaleidoscopes – I am in awe of the poetry posted on this blog.  Beautiful lines are posted every day and the inspiration never seems to stop!

Yellow House Cafe – Every post is an incredible piece of writing that digs deep into the subconscious.  Highly inventive, original, and innovative, this blog challenges traditional perceptions of literature.

The View Outside – Easily one of my favorite blogs to read.  Full of humor, inspiration, and witty writing, each day on this site is an adventure for the muse.

Three Daily Delights – Every day, three items of joy are posted as a way to celebrate the simple things that make us smile.  A quick read never felt so good!

J. Keller Ford – I met this author during the Fourth Writers’ Platform Building Campaign and she continues to be an amazing source of inspiration.  She recently had a short story selected for publication and I am so excited for her to see her name in print.  Follow her journey!

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c.b. 2012

The Story Behind Solitary Confinement

The votes have been cast in To Know or Not to Know and the win goes to full disclosure of the ailment afflicting the character and the inspiration behind Solitary Confinement. Thanks to everyone who took the time to read something a little different and vote in both polls regarding this piece.

To catch up or reread the short story discussed below, please visit this link:

Solitary Confinement

If you don’t want to know everything about what inspired this story, stop reading after this point!

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It’s often said that every piece of fiction has a grain of truth nestled somewhere deep within the story and characters.  In the case of Solitary Confinement, I took something I knew rather well and turned it into a metaphor that explores the strength of the human spirit when pushed to extremes.

For a number of years, I struggled with the pain of migraine headaches. It always bothers me when someone arbitrarily uses the word “migraine” to describe a really bad headache.  Migraines are an entirely different kind of pain that effects every part of the body.  In my case, the pain was debilitating and quite terrifying.  The descriptions of pain that I used in the story, (i.e. ants armed with lightening rods, the ice pick, the sledgehammer, a thousand baseball bats, muscle seizures, etc.) all came from my migraine journal that I kept for my doctor.  These descriptions gave me the starting point I needed to expand the emotional sense of what its like to experience overwhelming pain.

The emotional element of this story is based solely on the premise of feeling helpless.  This is where fiction comes in as a way to exaggerate the loss of control that comes from being unable to stop the pain.  I put the character on a hardwood floor to remove any possibility of comfort and to emphasize the paralysis created by the migraine.  It was important to establish this right from the start, especially for readers who have never experienced an affliction of this magnitude.

The scattered pills just out of reach are a mechanism to show desperation.  On a personal level, this has a lot of meaning to me because it reflects my own experience of never finding a magic fix to stop the migraines.  By putting them out of her reach, my intention was to create an illusion of help that doesn’t exist.

Hallucinations are one of the more frightening elements of severe migraines.  The more intense the pain, the more pronounced they become.  The references to shadows that aren’t there and voices whispering are also derived from my journal.  Extreme pain does funny things to your senses and messes with your perception of reality. To showcase the fear this creates, I opted to elevate this phenomenon by creating a less obvious hallucination that even the reader believes is real.

The main character makes several internal cries for a nameless man:

He said I could call . . .

I need him. I need help.

Her desperation for his presence escalates as the pain intensifies.  I purposely increased her internal dialogue to show her ever-increasing helplessness and give the impression that this man exists.  In truth, he is not real. The man she calls for represents a cry for help that can’t be heard. Physical pain may be paralyzing her, but she is also trapped by emotional turmoil and anxiety brought on by fear.  She is entirely alone in this situation, which creates a strong need for someone to help her.  In effect, she needs him to be real in order to cope with the pain.  This concept is furthered by the character’s belief that she’s done something wrong and the pain is her punishment.  His forgiveness would make the pain stop, but just like the pills he remains out of reach.

I never fully reveal this hallucination in the story because I want the reader to see him the way she does.  In this sense, the reader falls into the same view of reality that she experiences.

Overall, the character’s heightened level of pain is meant to reflect a state of helplessness when something is out of our control.  No matter how much we hope, need, or crave, there are moments when those things are irrelevant.  To that end, the only thing we have left is the ability to hold on with all our strength.

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Call it writer’s curiosity, but what was your interpretation of the story?

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c.b. 2012

Moments of Light

Storm clouds loom,
dark and gray
Faith points high,
reaching for blue
Joy rises up,
catching the light
Gather such orbs,
before they fall

Trafalgar Square, London, June 2011, c.b.w.

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c.b. 2012

Haikus: My Garden Grows, (Part 2)

Delicate white buds
will give way to magic stalks
Plant dreams and believe

Blooming buds means beans are on the way! My little rabbit is hoping for an early snack.

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First bit of magic
curls up to the sky and smiles
Not for trade, these beans

The first bean of the season!

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Sunflower stalks climb
A forest to a bunny
Taller still, they grow!

From three inches to three feet, my sunflowers just keep growing!

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See Part 1 of My Garden Grows, here.

To see where these little guys started, check out my previous garden posts:

My Little Garden

Haikus From My Garden 

How is your garden growing?

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c.b. 2012