Just as it did every year on this day, Malcolm’s cane rattles across the cobblestones. He knows where the walkway is uneven and how many steps it takes to get from the flower market to the clock tower. Fifty-five, fifty-six, fifty-seven. For the last ten years, the number has always been the same.
The roses smell stronger than usual, their sweet, musky scent hangs heavy in the foggy air. The treads on his old shoes struggle to grip the stones still wet from the street washer’s hose. He tightens his hold on his cane and feels for the wall behind him. A chill seeps into his spine as he leans on the stone bricks.
He knows he’s in the right place when he hears the soft tick-tock of the clock tower. The steady tempo calms his pulse and soothes his nerves. It’s been so long, but the thought of her still makes his hands clammy and his knees wobble.
Footsteps approach and they could be hers . . . but, no. Too heavy and too far apart. They belong to Jakob, a waiter from the café across the street. A large gentle hand squeezes Malcolm’s arm with the assurance of friendship. He says nothing, but gives Malcolm a warm cup of coffee before walking away.
The steam warms his nose and weaves through his thick mustache. It’s enough to warm his bones, but not much else. She said she’d be here and he still believes her. People get lost or wander away, but they always end up coming home. Don’t they?
As the minutes tick by and his coffee cup empties, he listens carefully for the sound of her voice calling his name and sniffs the breeze for a hint of her perfume. He would know her touch anywhere as there is nothing like the feel of her hand in his. If he tries hard enough he can imagine her phantom fingers caressing his skin. Though, he cannot see her face. The memory is no longer vivid and his eyes are a thing of the past.
She would come, he knew she would.
– – –
This is a little experiment in free-writing with the assistance of a prompt and a partial story it inspired in one of my journals. I played with both a bit more and filled in some blanks. The photograph comes from a trip I took to Prague a few years back.
Prompt: They’d agree to meet under the clock on Valentine’s Day. That was four years ago, but he still came very year on that date to wait for her.
Source of prompt: First 50 – I’ve had the prompt tucked in my journal for a while, but never checked out this blog until today. It’s an amazing source of writing prompts and I highly recommend it for any writer looking for a little inspiration!
– – –
c.b. 201
A brillant peace of writing. Ten out of Ten.
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Thank you so much! I’m glad you enjoyed it. 🙂
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So should not have read this before popping out to the shops! Crying is really not conductive to keeping makeup in place!
It’s fantastically written and a really wonderful piece, but so incredibly sad.
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I’m sorry to hear of tears, but thrilled this piece was strong enough to cause them. Thank you so much for reading and leaving such kind words.
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Yes, I like this! It’s fun to focus on writing in these blogs sometimes. I tried to do a “writing” piece yesterday, too, although not fiction. Good job. Leaves us wanting to read more.
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Thanks! 🙂
I’m trying to do a little more flash fiction just to see what’s hiding in my imagination. It’s a nice warm-up to get me ready to work on my novel.
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Oh my gosh. So sad, and so well-written. 5 stars! *sniff*
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Thanks! 🙂
I don’t know why I sometimes write such sad pieces when I’m generally a very happy person. Perhaps, I’m curious of the emotions that don’t visit me very often.
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Fun! Reminds me of a lovely gothic romance.
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I had Prague in mind when writing the original version, which is probably why it has a Gothic undertone. 🙂
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That was really a beautiful piece of writing.
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Thank you so much. Its always so great to read to comments like these!
Thanks so much for reading!
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Awesome write!
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Thank you! 🙂 It was a fun piece to write!
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Beautiful photo CB
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Thank you! Its been a while since I’ve gone through my Prague photographs and it was fun to revisit some of the corners where I wandered. This one has always been a favorite. 🙂
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A poet’s city for sure
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I remember this. I love what you did with it and especially tieing in to a place you have been. Wonderful photo.
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It always amazes me that you remember something I wrote from so long ago, (the date on the journal entry is from 2010). I was digging through all my journals when this piece jumped out – I just had to finish it. 🙂
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Hi C.B.
I could really feel the tension mounting here and like Rita says, atmospheric photo.
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That’s exactly what I was trying to do, along with practicing with sensory descriptions. 🙂
Thanks so much for reading! 🙂
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Always a pleasure C.B.
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I liked it very much. Found it … bittersweet.
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Thanks! 🙂
Bittersweet is a good word for this story . . . I love how he’s never given up, but I also want to find a way to cure his sadness.
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Sad to think of love lost, and yet his hope remains, year after year. It was a lovely piece, well-written. 🙂
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Thank you! 🙂
Hope is a powerful thing . . . even when it leads to downfall.
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I found my heart aching for him as I read this. Well done.
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Thank you. 🙂
I’m thrilled to hear its evoking such strong emotions from those who have read it. I was hoping Malcolm’s story would touch people in a poignant way. So far, mission accomplished!
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Enjoyed your flash! These prompts are powerful writing tools.
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Thanks! 🙂
Its amazing how a little prompt can lead to so much! Sometimes the muse just needs a little kick start!
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Well done! Great descriptions, and ambiguous, just the way you like it 🙂 thanks for writing and sharing.
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Thanks! 🙂
I love holes and the ambiguity they create! Flash fiction really lets me play with what I like to do so much – create curiosity.
Thanks for reading!
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What a lovely prompt….so sad 😦
Why didn’t she turn up?
Xx
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It is sad, but I choose to focus on the power of hope and how it keeps people going even when they should probably give up. It’s a fascinating facet of the human condition. 🙂
As the reader, you get to decide:
If she did actually turn up this time or why she did not.
I can’t help it, I love writing stories where the reader gets to fill in the blanks. 🙂
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Ahhhhh, I see 😉
Great story!
Xx
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Oh my gosh, I was almost there–so vivid, so thoughtful, so sad. You are a great writer!!
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Thank you! 🙂
My favorite thing to do is take readers on a little trip to somewhere they’ve never been. Whether it be a physical place or an emotional state. 🙂
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This could be the opening to a wonderful novel. Great sensory details. lovely
Susanne
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Thank you! 🙂
It’s a story I’ll keep tucked in the “good start” folder for now. 🙂
Thanks for reading!
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A wonderful response to the exercise…keep at it.
PS, the photo is simply fabulous…bucket list ~
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Thank you so much. 🙂
Prague is one of the most amazing places I’ve ever been. Sometimes I can’t believe I was really there. One day I hope to return.
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I absolutely love that photo ! Do you ever do black and white shots ?
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Not really. Most of the time, I’ll render them in iPhoto to make them black and white. 😉
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You never fail to move me with your writing. I’m back to read albeit irregularly due to travel schedules, but this is touching. I almost feel like I see him waiting, longingly for her arrival, one that feels so fruitless yet he wishes never to give up.
Thanks for sharing – now if you develop this into a full story, please tell me, I’ll be happy to buy a copy 🙂
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Thanks so much for stopping by considering such a busy schedule. I’m so glad you enjoyed this story. I’m working on expanding it, though it’ll be a while before it takes a final form. For some reason, short stories always take a long time for me to complete. 😉
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My pleasure, I really like what you write and I’ve been telling my friends about it back at home. Just the right style & genre. Let met quote a Chinese saying – Slow work produces fine goods. Take your time, I’ll wait for the fine goods! 😉
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